Oh, the Shame

I just came from an assembly at one of my junior high schools in Japan. It's the last day of the semester before a 45 day summer break for the kids, so they held an assembly to give awards, sit, stand, bow, sit, stand, bow, and sit.

We watched a fifteen minute video presentation about bike safety that was the epitome of a bad Japanese drama. You know--exaggerated movements, overdramatic pauses, awesomely bad music in the background. The first part had accidents staged by a stunt crew. As a guy on a bike approaches a car, the driver-side door swings open, and the guy on the bike not only has time to look at the door and shout in a comical tone, but also ditch the bike while flipping over the door onto the ground.

Stunningly--nobody at the assembly laughs. Cheesy staged accident after cheesy staged accident, I suppress belly laughter as the 462 kids and their 30 or so teachers sit silently serious on the gym floor, lined up in perfect rows like a rice field. Back in America, the whole congregation would be rolling with laughter.

Perhaps more disconcerting is the last segment of the video, in which a young woman living with her mother goes out on her bike at night without turning on the safety light. When a little boy runs out in front of her, she swerves to miss him and crashes into an old lady passing on a bike. When a stern Japanese policeman scolds her and says that she was at fault for the accident, the young woman makes the excuse that the little boy ran in front of her. It doesn't matter, says the cop, because she didn't have her light on. What, lady? It's your fault? How embarrassing! Never mind the fact that you almost killed a granny.

Back at home, she sits at the table, eating, when her mom gets a phone call notifying her of the accident. Oh, the shame of having your parents know that you were in an accident!

In Japan, if you get in an accident, you're expected to visit the other person in the hospital with flowers and give a formal apology. It's probably not a bad idea, but it's much different than in America, where insurance companies take over and you often never see or hear from the person you almost killed.

Anyway, the woman goes with her mom and some flowers to the hospital to visit the old lady, but the lady's husband snaps at her, saying that the granny doesn't want to see her. The young woman hangs her head in shame and the camera pans out, showing the woman and her mom in a dark, empty hospital. The screen fades to black.

What really blew my mind was that the video focused more on the shame that this young woman felt than the fact that she almost killed someone. I mean, really--what's worse: having your feelings hurt because you did something stupid and have to pay the social and financial consequences, or actually physically hurting someone? Here in Japan, shame is quite a big deal. And that's a shame.