Mia's home!

So, after nearly 4 months of visits to the NICU, Mia's finally home, and she's doing great. We've moved to Imabari, but I'm currently on the island at the town hall. I leave today for good. We won't have internet for a while, so updates might be a bit infrequent. We'll do what we can to keep you all informed.

Some video of Mia

Here are a couple videos of Mia from this week. She's getting so big! We haven't gone to the hospital today, but we expect she'll be up to 5 pounds today. Enjoy!

Long Week Ahead

Yesterday, we got to give Mia a bath for the first time. They had Stef hold her awkwardly in one hand and use the other hand to soap her up and pour water over her. It looked pretty tough, and it was made tougher by the fact that it was hard to communicate with the nurse. But it was nice to see Mia's reaction to the water. Like Kelsey before her, she seems to like it.

As I was helping to dry her off, she started to get a bit fussy. I crouched down and got close to her and started talking, and she quickly calmed down. She's a real sweetie. I'm sure her eyes are blue.

After spending the few minutes bathing her, it was time for Stef to breast feed her. They curtain off the section and the men leave, so I took Kelsey out to get some food. The plan was to go eat and come back by 3 PM so that I could spend a half-hour with Mia before I had to head back to the train station to start the trek back to the island. I told Kelsey beforehand that we were going to get some chicken nuggets, and she was giddily talking to herself and me about how she was going to eat nuggets. The two of us rode the bike to McDonald's, where I got a couple 100 yen menu items (like the dollar menu in the U.S.) and Kelsey got her nuggets. Kelsey smiled the whole time as she tore little pieces off the nuggets and dipped them in barbecue sauce. In between bites, she enthusiastically pointed out features of the second floor of the restaurant, where we sat. It was really nice to have a little daddy-daughter date with her. I think I'll continue them when we get to Imabari.

We left McDonald's and biked back to the hospital, arriving at 3. When we got to the door of the NICU, I rang the bell to ask a nurse if she could watch Kelsey while I saw Mia. Stef was standing in sight, holding Mia. I lifted Kelsey up and explained that the baby that Mommy was holding was Mia. I'm still not sure if she really gets it, but she was pretty excited to announce that Mommy was seeing Mia.

When I put Kelsey down and tried to enter the NICU, I got bombarded by a doctor, who wanted to tell me that we should call the days before we want to bathe Mia ourselves. The nurse who had come to help didn't really watch Kelsey, so I had to chase Kelsey around while trying to end the conversation with the doctor. I told them that I had to leave for the island by 3:30, and that I really wanted to see Mia. The conversation continued until 3:20, and I was getting really upset that they wouldn't just leave me alone. All I wanted was to see my daughter for a few minutes before I left to be alone on the island all week. At 3:25, I finally got rid of the doctor, but it didn't leave me enough time to go in, since I'd have to wash my hands twice and get dressed in the plastic hospital poncho before entering.

I decided to go around the side and just look at Mia through the glass, since she's right up against it. When I got there, 8-10 nurses flipped out about how I wasn't in there with her. I frantically tried to communicate with gestures about how I had no time, and so I just wanted to see her for a minute, and that I wanted them to just leave me alone, but it was too late. Wanting to be helpful, they sent a doctor around to talk to me and ask me why I wasn't coming in. I quickly explained that I had to leave in 4 minutes, and that I just wanted to see her before I left. She said that she understood, but then started asking me questions about where we were going to live and how the TV interview went. At this point, I lost it. I gave short, monosyllabic (or at least the Japanese equivalent) answers and then stopped answering her questions altogether. She eventually got the drift and turned around. As she walked away, I apologized. I looked at Mia for about thirty seconds, and then I had to turn and leave.

I feel bad that I was short with the doctors, but I really wish they would have just left me alone. In their efforts to help, they robbed me of one of the few chances I get to see my daughter. It took a lot for me not to start sobbing. The stress of the situation got to me and I was short with Stef. She had had stresses of her own while waiting for me inside the NICU. In the end, I didn't even get to have a proper goodbye with her and Kelsey. No hugs. Nothing.

For most of the five hour trip home, I distracted myself by reading Orwell's 1984. I'm really enjoying it. Some of the parallels with modern government are spooky, to say the least.

Sigh. It's going to be a long week.

Twitter

So, I've discovered this thing called Twitter that basically gives people a status update. I'll try to post little blurbs often, and they'll show up on the right hand of this page. I'll still try to post regularly, but this will give me a chance to mention stuff without feeling like I need to put a whole lot of time into a full-fledged post.

Japan-US Relations

I don't know why I let the differences between Japan and America get to me, but I do. This past weekend, our cell phone service got shut off. When I signed the contract, I asked how I could pay my bill. They asked for my postal bank account number and told me that the bill would automatically come out of my account each month. What they failed to tell me was that automatic payments take two months to establish in Japan.

Up until three days ago, I hadn't received any kind of bill or notice of payment. Every time I checked my account statement, I wondered why the money hadn't yet come out. Three days ago, I got January's bill in the mail. The next day, my service was shut off. When I contacted the phone company today, they agreed to turn on my cell phone service and apologized for any confusion.

I asked about December's bill and wondered why it never came. The bills come pre-printed with the amount paid, so you can't pay two months' bills at a time. They told me that they sent December's bill two weeks ago, and that I had before the end of month to pay or they'd shut the phones off again. I went to the post office to pay January's bill, with the hope that I could pay December's as well. No such luck.

Here in Japan, you have to have a physical copy of a bill if you want to pay it. There is no online bill pay. There is no option to pay by phone with a debit or credit card. You can set up automatic payment from an account, but you have to fill out forms (without making any mistakes). When I asked the post office clerk to help me, we ended up on the phone again with the phone company, verifying exactly what they had already told me. They're resending the bill that never came so that I can have a physical copy to take into an office to pay.

I've always paid my bills early. If I pay them while I still have money, I don't have to worry about not being able to pay my bills later. It's so frustrating that I have to wait weeks or months just to give them money. It's archaic and it's arcane. It's archanic. I just want to pay my bill! The problem is, most people here don't ask questions. They just pay. They fill out the paperwork, wait in the lines, go through the motions, and never demand that things be made easier or more user-friendly. On one hand, I understand that I need to develop more patience for these sorts of things. On the other hand, I wonder why I should have to develop patience for something as trivial as paying a bill. Don't I have more important things to worry about?

When we set up the apartment in Matsuyama, the church helped pay for the rent. We said that we were willing to pay a certain amount, so they told us to transfer the money whenever we could. We now are able to make that transfer, but they won't let me! I called the Branch President, and he said not to worry about it until April. The problem is, the only way I won't stress about outstanding debts and bills is if they've been paid! Now, we'll have an untouchable chunk of money in our account for six weeks, giving us a false sense of financial security. Why can't I just pay it now? Where else in the world would a debtor not be allowed to pay his debts? Consider my mind boggled. So, I'll try to put it out of my mind. But I won't rest easy until our debts are settled.

Mia's getting big--she's out of the incubator now. It's great to see her in her bassinet, without all the tubes and everything. She's up to 4 pounds now, and she's really starting to fill out. I think she looks a lot like Kelsey did when she was born, except that she seems to have lighter hair and blue eyes. We'll be excited if they stay blue.

Yesterday, they told us that she could start breast feeding, but that we had to go out and buy some sterilizing wipes. If they had given us any sort of heads-up, we could have been prepared. Instead, Stef had to fit one more stop into her already packed schedule. Stuff like that could easily be avoided if people were just more willing to communicate with us.

We're anticipating her release from the hospital in three weeks or so. We still don't know where we're going to live. We think we're taking Kitt's place, but nobody's been able to confirm anything. I have yet to be contacted by my new contracting organization. It'd be nice to know where we're going to live so that we can prepare the place. We're even willing to pay the full month's rent, even if we only live there for a week or two in March. From what I gather, I probably won't get a call until the day before I'm supposed to be there. Because moving obviously doesn't take time.

Most Japanese people seem to be unwilling to engage in any sort of speculation. Doctor Nagai said that the Japanese way is to only say what has been confirmed, so as to not create false expectations. In other words, they could lose face if they speculated on something and it turned out to be slightly different. When we inquired about the start date of breast feeding, the doctors tiptoed around our question. Instead of saying something like, "Once she's at a stable weight--say, 1800 grams--and is able to be moved from the incubator to a bassinet, we'll try", they said, "Once she's healthy enough." We don't need exact figures--just estimates that we can use to set realistic expectations and prepare for the future. I'm not going to sue you if things turn out differently. It's okay if they're not sure where they'll place me yet--just tell me that.

In addition to Adult English conversation classes, I've started teaching internet classes once a week. After fixing my boss' computer a couple weeks ago, I'm now seen as the computer whiz on the island. I admit it's a bit tough to motivate myself to help him now, since I've learned that my effort led to him having a computer that's fast enough to load adult web sites. Last week, for the first lesson, two 60-70 year old men came. They were more excited to read haiku and see pictures of themselves on the town website than anything else. That's a lot easier on my conscience than the stuff my boss wanted to look at. I was pretty stressed about the class at first, but it turned out to be pretty relaxed.

Kelsey's struggling with the long distance fathering. It breaks my heart to hear that she cries for me while I'm away, or that she looks for me when she wakes up, only to remember where I am and announce to the world, "Daddy's working. Island." I miss all my girls terribly. But there's only a few more weeks of this. It'll all be over soon.

Kelsey's getting a lot better at speaking. All the cute "one" words (water = wa-one, pillow = pih-one, towel = tow-one) now sound pretty close to how they should. She still says some things in a cute/wrong way, like fishy tatters (instead of fishy crackers). When we would arrive at the store, Jusco, Kelsey used to shout, "Home!" After telling her that Jusco is not home, but a store, she would shake her head and say, "Not home." We told her the store was called Jusco, and she now calls it "Jus-Home." But for the most part, her English is getting really good. When Stef leaves to see Mia, Kelsey says, "Mommy's seeing Mia. Kelsey's playing nurse." When Stef gets back, she says, "Mommy saw Mia." That's pretty advanced stuff.

I mentioned earlier that Kelsey comes up with her own plans, like when we tell her that she has to hold someone's hand and she elects to hold "Kelsey's hand." The other day, in an attempt to get Kelsey ready to go to the hospital, Stef gave her two options: we could take the bikes or take the stroller. Kelsey replied, "No. Take the bus." Her responses blow me away sometimes.

Life is good. We have our sources of stress, but truthfully, we feel pretty blessed. We were interviewed by a camera crew from NHK, the public broadcasting station in Japan that's famous for news coverage. They came to the hospital to ask us some questions about Mia's birth and our hospital experience. It's set to air March 10th. I'll get a copy and post it on YouTube for everyone to see.

New pics of Mia

Here are the most recent pics of Mia (and one of Kelsey playing with the nurse), taken yesterday.

25 Random Facts About Me

I figured I'd post this blurb from my facebook for everyone else to see. There's this "tag" game, where someone tags you, and you're supposed to make a list of 25 things about yourself, and then tag 25 other people. I normally hate making these lists, but I figured that the only way I could avoid future tags is by posting this now.

1. This is the third time I've been asked to do this, and I'm only getting around to it now because my wife asked me to. Sweet, only #24 more to go.
2. I'm really good at embarassing myself. No, not in the Spanish way.
3. Oh yeah, I'm fluent in Spanish and am learning Japanese. I can get by in Portuguese.
4. I want to learn German some day. And pretty much every other language.
5. I got hit by a car and died when I was 3 years old.
6. I'm such a goof that people often think I'm joking when I'm being serious. Yes, #5 did happen. My dad gave me a blessing and I started breathing again.
7. I got hit by a semi truck in my car (it hit me three times) when I was 19. It's a miracle that I'm still alive.
8. I teach English on a remote island in Japan. There are fewer than 200 people on the island, and I only have 5 students.
9. I have a competitive streak (read: bad temper) when I play games with people. I avoid games that require strategy, because I get too emotionally invested into them. I'm a lot more fun to be around when people aren't being competitive.
10. I hate working out, and can't understand why people think it's fun. The only way I can get myself to work out is if the exercise is hidden within some kind of competition, like with basketball.
11. I have a knack for noticing when other people aren't being tactful, but usually fail in my own attempts.
12. I'm an elitist when it comes to music. I don't like it if I think I could write it myself. Lyrics, while important, take a back seat to awesome harmony and innovative melodies. I hate poetry and songs that feel the need to tightly rhyme on the last word of each line (I wanna die, you make me wanna cry, I want some pie, I'm gonna sigh, etc.).
13. I think that cell phones are destroying the English language. "Your" is not the same as "you're". It's "couldn't care less", not "could care less". And it's "miss-chih-vus", not "miss-cheevy-us".
14. I'm so confident in my masculinity that I often make semi-veiled sexual advances at friends named Ryan.
15. I'm usually the tallest guy on the basketball team, but I like to shoot three-pointers. I shoot better from outside the arc than I do from inside. Yeah, I'm pretty awesome. No big deal.
16. I have the coolest wife in the world. She was willing to come to a remote island in a strange country with me, even though she was pregnant.
17. I watched my wife give birth 14 weeks early on a small boat in the middle of the night in the middle of the sea.
18. I love isolation, as long as my family is with me. But I also love being in small groups of people, because I like to make people laugh.
19. I hated high school. I was too nerdy for the cool people and too cool for the nerds. The only reason I'd ever consider going to a high school reunion would be to rub my successes into other peoples' faces. But that would be bad form.
20. As much as I love being around my family, I couldn't live in Orangevale. It's not about them--I just feel like everything worthwhile that I've ever done was away from Orangevale. Going back brings back feelings of discomfort and insecurity. People back there don't know the real me, and never did.
21. I didn't try out for the basketball team because of insecurities about my physique. But now I'm proud of my moobies.
22. I may be the youngest person ever with BPH. Large prostate = me having to pee every 2-3 hours (sometimes every hour). I've slept through the night maybe three or four times in the last 10 years.
23. I have a photographic memory for things that don't matter. I remember minute details, phone numbers, addresses, other peoples' account numbers, names (to go with faces). However, I can't, for the life of me, remember things that are important. Like taking out the trash. Or to wash the dishes. I just don't think about those things. I'm more than willing to do them most of the time. I just need a little, "Hey, could you do the dishes?"
24. I'm an extremely disorganized person. My desk is always messy, as is my dresser. My thoughts are usually somewhat jumbled.
25. I'm extremely persistent with repetitive tasks. I'm willing to trudge through the monotony that others aren't. If I get on a cleaning kick, I won't stop until whatever I'm cleaning is spotless. If I'm fixing a computer or an Xbox, or organizing mp3s, or trying to hit a sales goal, I will not stop until I have achieved my goal.