First week in Imabari

Last night, I put Kelsey down for bed right before running to the store to check for deals. When I got back 20 minutes later, I checked to make sure she had gone to bed, and she was laying in the exact same position, fast asleep. Stef and I watched the last part of a movie, and then got ready for bed. Stef peeked in to check on Kelsey and groaned when she saw Kelsey's face covered in ink. It must have all happened in the 20 minutes that I was gone.

Today, I saw exactly how bad it was. Kelsey drew on her hands and face, and then stuffed eight felt-tipped markers inside her footed pajamas. She had a leaky diaper, and the combination of liquid, ink, and rolling around at night covered her whole body and pajamas in permanent ink. After an hour-and-a-half of scrubbing, she's still got ink all over. At least it's light enough that it shouldn't transfer to other things. And I got most of it off her face.

What a little stinker.

So, as I said before, Mia's home, and we're living in Imabari, where we used to go to church every week before Mia came early. I got transferred early, and I start work here on Monday. It's the beginning of a new school term, so a lot of the teachers will be new. In Japan, government employees transfer to new positions in new places after three years or so. People often have to work away from their families, and some even have to live on islands during the week and travel to see their families on weekends. Most just have to commute every day.

I have five schools that I visit--three elementary schools and two junior high schools. My main mode of transportation is a small ladies' bike with a basket in front. I haven't yet seen my schools, but I know that it takes between twenty-five and forty-five minutes to pedal to my different schools. I'm going to get a lot of exercise.

Mia is doing pretty well, though yesterday she started needing to be held all the time. She gets very upset if she's not lying up against our chest. When she is up against us, she sleeps. Before that, she really liked to sit vertically and just look around. So far we haven't taken a lot of pictures. I bought batteries for our camera, but they weren't even strong enough to keep the camera on for more than 2 seconds. I turned it on, the lens extended, and then the digital display flashed "battery depleted" and it shut off. We got some new batteries yesterday and took a few pictures. Mia wasn't in a picture-taking mood, so I snapped some of Kelsey. Those are the ones that we posted to facebook and Stef's blog.

At Mia's discharge meeting with the doctors, they showed us pictures of her MRI. They said that her left cerebral ventricle is a little larger than the right one, but that it wasn't really anything to worry about. She might experience some difficulty with motor skills, but most of the time, there aren't any problems. We'll be keeping an eye out for the first few years. Everything seems normal so far.

Stef has been getting between five and six hours of broken sleep every night, which is much better than when Kelsey was a newborn. I've been getting about 7 hours of broken sleep. So we're dealing with everything pretty well. It's a lot easier when you're sleeping.

Our place is pretty cozy. It's old and has sparkly corkboard walls and tatami floors, but it feels like home. Kelsey has her own room, we have a small living room with a couch, and we have a bigger kitchen. The fridge was much too small, so we had to buy another small one in order to have enough room for all our food. At Hard-Off (I kid you not), a second-hand shop that sells everything from video games to couches, we found a practically brand new fridge for $150. We also found a baby bath for about eight bucks. To keep Kelsey out of the fridge, we got some locking plastic belt-clips.

Even if our place in Uoshima was slightly larger, this place is much more convenient. We have a big shopping complex called Saty that's five minutes away on foot. Inside the three floor building, there's a nice 100 yen shop, a play area, a nice grocery store with great prices, an arcade, a clothing store, and much more. Within a half-mile or so of our apartment, we've got two or three other grocery stores, a full-size 100 yen shop, a two-story electronics store, Hard-Off, a video rental store, and a full-size McDonald's that serves breakfast.

We're looking forward to things getting back to normal, so we won't be tempted to go to McDonald's. It's hard sometimes to ignore the convenience. And Kelsey loves chicken nuggets. Back in Matsuyama, I took her to McDonald's and got her some nuggets. Stef also took her a few times during her grocery shopping trips. One time, she told Kelsey that she had to get money from the ATM, and then they'd go buy some nuggets. When we tell Kelsey that she's going to get to eat nuggets, she shouts, "Mommy get da money, Kelsey eat nunnets!" The other day, I mentioned that I had to get some money for the next day, and Kelsey Pavlovianly chirped, "Nunnets!" Awesome.

Kelsey's being a good big sister. She's occasionally too rough when she wants to hold or kiss Mia, so we have to keep a close eye on her.

We won't have internet access at home until the 23rd or so. I can walk out into the neighborhood an pick up an unsecured wireless network, which is enough to check e-mail and post to the blog. Last night, I was walking around with the laptop in my hand like a waiter holding a tray, watching the top of the screen to see how strong the connection was, when I walked across the street. Suddenly, I didn't feel the ground under me--I had stepped into the meter-deep gutter. I knew it wouldn't end well, so I tried to protect the computer. It flew up into the air and landed upside-down on my neck, and I grabbed it before it could fall off. I bruised my left leg just above the knee, but was lucky to not have suffered worse.

Things are great here, but I wouldn't recommend walking into meter-deep ditches.

Mia's home!

So, after nearly 4 months of visits to the NICU, Mia's finally home, and she's doing great. We've moved to Imabari, but I'm currently on the island at the town hall. I leave today for good. We won't have internet for a while, so updates might be a bit infrequent. We'll do what we can to keep you all informed.

Some video of Mia

Here are a couple videos of Mia from this week. She's getting so big! We haven't gone to the hospital today, but we expect she'll be up to 5 pounds today. Enjoy!

Long Week Ahead

Yesterday, we got to give Mia a bath for the first time. They had Stef hold her awkwardly in one hand and use the other hand to soap her up and pour water over her. It looked pretty tough, and it was made tougher by the fact that it was hard to communicate with the nurse. But it was nice to see Mia's reaction to the water. Like Kelsey before her, she seems to like it.

As I was helping to dry her off, she started to get a bit fussy. I crouched down and got close to her and started talking, and she quickly calmed down. She's a real sweetie. I'm sure her eyes are blue.

After spending the few minutes bathing her, it was time for Stef to breast feed her. They curtain off the section and the men leave, so I took Kelsey out to get some food. The plan was to go eat and come back by 3 PM so that I could spend a half-hour with Mia before I had to head back to the train station to start the trek back to the island. I told Kelsey beforehand that we were going to get some chicken nuggets, and she was giddily talking to herself and me about how she was going to eat nuggets. The two of us rode the bike to McDonald's, where I got a couple 100 yen menu items (like the dollar menu in the U.S.) and Kelsey got her nuggets. Kelsey smiled the whole time as she tore little pieces off the nuggets and dipped them in barbecue sauce. In between bites, she enthusiastically pointed out features of the second floor of the restaurant, where we sat. It was really nice to have a little daddy-daughter date with her. I think I'll continue them when we get to Imabari.

We left McDonald's and biked back to the hospital, arriving at 3. When we got to the door of the NICU, I rang the bell to ask a nurse if she could watch Kelsey while I saw Mia. Stef was standing in sight, holding Mia. I lifted Kelsey up and explained that the baby that Mommy was holding was Mia. I'm still not sure if she really gets it, but she was pretty excited to announce that Mommy was seeing Mia.

When I put Kelsey down and tried to enter the NICU, I got bombarded by a doctor, who wanted to tell me that we should call the days before we want to bathe Mia ourselves. The nurse who had come to help didn't really watch Kelsey, so I had to chase Kelsey around while trying to end the conversation with the doctor. I told them that I had to leave for the island by 3:30, and that I really wanted to see Mia. The conversation continued until 3:20, and I was getting really upset that they wouldn't just leave me alone. All I wanted was to see my daughter for a few minutes before I left to be alone on the island all week. At 3:25, I finally got rid of the doctor, but it didn't leave me enough time to go in, since I'd have to wash my hands twice and get dressed in the plastic hospital poncho before entering.

I decided to go around the side and just look at Mia through the glass, since she's right up against it. When I got there, 8-10 nurses flipped out about how I wasn't in there with her. I frantically tried to communicate with gestures about how I had no time, and so I just wanted to see her for a minute, and that I wanted them to just leave me alone, but it was too late. Wanting to be helpful, they sent a doctor around to talk to me and ask me why I wasn't coming in. I quickly explained that I had to leave in 4 minutes, and that I just wanted to see her before I left. She said that she understood, but then started asking me questions about where we were going to live and how the TV interview went. At this point, I lost it. I gave short, monosyllabic (or at least the Japanese equivalent) answers and then stopped answering her questions altogether. She eventually got the drift and turned around. As she walked away, I apologized. I looked at Mia for about thirty seconds, and then I had to turn and leave.

I feel bad that I was short with the doctors, but I really wish they would have just left me alone. In their efforts to help, they robbed me of one of the few chances I get to see my daughter. It took a lot for me not to start sobbing. The stress of the situation got to me and I was short with Stef. She had had stresses of her own while waiting for me inside the NICU. In the end, I didn't even get to have a proper goodbye with her and Kelsey. No hugs. Nothing.

For most of the five hour trip home, I distracted myself by reading Orwell's 1984. I'm really enjoying it. Some of the parallels with modern government are spooky, to say the least.

Sigh. It's going to be a long week.

Twitter

So, I've discovered this thing called Twitter that basically gives people a status update. I'll try to post little blurbs often, and they'll show up on the right hand of this page. I'll still try to post regularly, but this will give me a chance to mention stuff without feeling like I need to put a whole lot of time into a full-fledged post.

Japan-US Relations

I don't know why I let the differences between Japan and America get to me, but I do. This past weekend, our cell phone service got shut off. When I signed the contract, I asked how I could pay my bill. They asked for my postal bank account number and told me that the bill would automatically come out of my account each month. What they failed to tell me was that automatic payments take two months to establish in Japan.

Up until three days ago, I hadn't received any kind of bill or notice of payment. Every time I checked my account statement, I wondered why the money hadn't yet come out. Three days ago, I got January's bill in the mail. The next day, my service was shut off. When I contacted the phone company today, they agreed to turn on my cell phone service and apologized for any confusion.

I asked about December's bill and wondered why it never came. The bills come pre-printed with the amount paid, so you can't pay two months' bills at a time. They told me that they sent December's bill two weeks ago, and that I had before the end of month to pay or they'd shut the phones off again. I went to the post office to pay January's bill, with the hope that I could pay December's as well. No such luck.

Here in Japan, you have to have a physical copy of a bill if you want to pay it. There is no online bill pay. There is no option to pay by phone with a debit or credit card. You can set up automatic payment from an account, but you have to fill out forms (without making any mistakes). When I asked the post office clerk to help me, we ended up on the phone again with the phone company, verifying exactly what they had already told me. They're resending the bill that never came so that I can have a physical copy to take into an office to pay.

I've always paid my bills early. If I pay them while I still have money, I don't have to worry about not being able to pay my bills later. It's so frustrating that I have to wait weeks or months just to give them money. It's archaic and it's arcane. It's archanic. I just want to pay my bill! The problem is, most people here don't ask questions. They just pay. They fill out the paperwork, wait in the lines, go through the motions, and never demand that things be made easier or more user-friendly. On one hand, I understand that I need to develop more patience for these sorts of things. On the other hand, I wonder why I should have to develop patience for something as trivial as paying a bill. Don't I have more important things to worry about?

When we set up the apartment in Matsuyama, the church helped pay for the rent. We said that we were willing to pay a certain amount, so they told us to transfer the money whenever we could. We now are able to make that transfer, but they won't let me! I called the Branch President, and he said not to worry about it until April. The problem is, the only way I won't stress about outstanding debts and bills is if they've been paid! Now, we'll have an untouchable chunk of money in our account for six weeks, giving us a false sense of financial security. Why can't I just pay it now? Where else in the world would a debtor not be allowed to pay his debts? Consider my mind boggled. So, I'll try to put it out of my mind. But I won't rest easy until our debts are settled.

Mia's getting big--she's out of the incubator now. It's great to see her in her bassinet, without all the tubes and everything. She's up to 4 pounds now, and she's really starting to fill out. I think she looks a lot like Kelsey did when she was born, except that she seems to have lighter hair and blue eyes. We'll be excited if they stay blue.

Yesterday, they told us that she could start breast feeding, but that we had to go out and buy some sterilizing wipes. If they had given us any sort of heads-up, we could have been prepared. Instead, Stef had to fit one more stop into her already packed schedule. Stuff like that could easily be avoided if people were just more willing to communicate with us.

We're anticipating her release from the hospital in three weeks or so. We still don't know where we're going to live. We think we're taking Kitt's place, but nobody's been able to confirm anything. I have yet to be contacted by my new contracting organization. It'd be nice to know where we're going to live so that we can prepare the place. We're even willing to pay the full month's rent, even if we only live there for a week or two in March. From what I gather, I probably won't get a call until the day before I'm supposed to be there. Because moving obviously doesn't take time.

Most Japanese people seem to be unwilling to engage in any sort of speculation. Doctor Nagai said that the Japanese way is to only say what has been confirmed, so as to not create false expectations. In other words, they could lose face if they speculated on something and it turned out to be slightly different. When we inquired about the start date of breast feeding, the doctors tiptoed around our question. Instead of saying something like, "Once she's at a stable weight--say, 1800 grams--and is able to be moved from the incubator to a bassinet, we'll try", they said, "Once she's healthy enough." We don't need exact figures--just estimates that we can use to set realistic expectations and prepare for the future. I'm not going to sue you if things turn out differently. It's okay if they're not sure where they'll place me yet--just tell me that.

In addition to Adult English conversation classes, I've started teaching internet classes once a week. After fixing my boss' computer a couple weeks ago, I'm now seen as the computer whiz on the island. I admit it's a bit tough to motivate myself to help him now, since I've learned that my effort led to him having a computer that's fast enough to load adult web sites. Last week, for the first lesson, two 60-70 year old men came. They were more excited to read haiku and see pictures of themselves on the town website than anything else. That's a lot easier on my conscience than the stuff my boss wanted to look at. I was pretty stressed about the class at first, but it turned out to be pretty relaxed.

Kelsey's struggling with the long distance fathering. It breaks my heart to hear that she cries for me while I'm away, or that she looks for me when she wakes up, only to remember where I am and announce to the world, "Daddy's working. Island." I miss all my girls terribly. But there's only a few more weeks of this. It'll all be over soon.

Kelsey's getting a lot better at speaking. All the cute "one" words (water = wa-one, pillow = pih-one, towel = tow-one) now sound pretty close to how they should. She still says some things in a cute/wrong way, like fishy tatters (instead of fishy crackers). When we would arrive at the store, Jusco, Kelsey used to shout, "Home!" After telling her that Jusco is not home, but a store, she would shake her head and say, "Not home." We told her the store was called Jusco, and she now calls it "Jus-Home." But for the most part, her English is getting really good. When Stef leaves to see Mia, Kelsey says, "Mommy's seeing Mia. Kelsey's playing nurse." When Stef gets back, she says, "Mommy saw Mia." That's pretty advanced stuff.

I mentioned earlier that Kelsey comes up with her own plans, like when we tell her that she has to hold someone's hand and she elects to hold "Kelsey's hand." The other day, in an attempt to get Kelsey ready to go to the hospital, Stef gave her two options: we could take the bikes or take the stroller. Kelsey replied, "No. Take the bus." Her responses blow me away sometimes.

Life is good. We have our sources of stress, but truthfully, we feel pretty blessed. We were interviewed by a camera crew from NHK, the public broadcasting station in Japan that's famous for news coverage. They came to the hospital to ask us some questions about Mia's birth and our hospital experience. It's set to air March 10th. I'll get a copy and post it on YouTube for everyone to see.

New pics of Mia

Here are the most recent pics of Mia (and one of Kelsey playing with the nurse), taken yesterday.